Fold an A4 page in half lengthways,
then width-ways
bend the top corners down like dog ears
and the bottoms up against the sides
tuck the corners in so they wrap around the edge
now fold it into a square
a 4-cornered heart
this is the beginning of how
not why

In the timelapse between the 00.04am text from a sister:
‘Which part of Japan is A in? Hearing about the earthquakes,’
and the words keyed into the empty space bar
‘Are you safe? Earthquake???’

time folds itself first along a line of longitude
then latitude in which a mother
grasps and gasps for breath
no oxygen between the creases
her heart a hummingbird
her blood a torrent
that drowns out the world

Now turn the square into a triangle
by folding the corners up again
it just needs a gentle tug to pull boat from paper
a small folded nothingness that despite the odds
will glide on water – try it and see

His reply, ‘I’m okay, mum’

how long did that take?

and where I am collapsed is just a crinkle
in the pattern of unexpected torments
he’s alive and floating
I can breathe again
unfolded

but I will not stop making paper boats

for the mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers
whose last known text read, ‘I’m scared,
I don’t know where to run
They’re killing everybody…’

for them the folds grow tighter and smaller
and time contracts as time goes on
there are no instructions
for how to pull a boat from paper
which will float on water
and bring them home.

Joanne Fedler is the internationally bestselling author of 15 books which have sold over 750,000 copies worldwide. She is a writing mentor, retreat leader and open water ocean swimmer. Her new book The Whale’s Last Song will be published by Harper Collins in late 2024.